Claire Danes Knows About Hedgehogs

#1
I'm looking through my list of Facebook friends and come across someone I don't recognize. He has some dumb name like "Farmerman Dan" that doesn't really help me identify him. I go to find him in person. I track him down to this house in the middle of nowhere with no electricity and no running water. He's part of a metal band and I realize he's the friend of some guy my friend Amanda dated like 10 years ago. I leave the house and find a hedgehog in the yard. I'm worried that the little guy might be dehydrated since there's no running water in the house. I drive to a strip mall and knock on the door of a pet store. It's closed for the night, but Claire Danes opens the door anyway and takes a look at the hedgehog for me.

Claire Danes is on the right

Elephants and Jodie Foster

#1
At work but the office is very dark. Am trying to play "Too Close" by Alex Clare for my coworkers. I have my iPod up as loud as it will go and am halfway through the song before I realize it's the wrong one.

#2
At a zoo(?). An elephant has spotted Annie through a window and keeps trying to get closer to her. Eventually the elephant gets loose/breaks out and picks Annie up in its trunk. It's not hurting her -- more like it just really wanted to give her a hug. 

 Kinda like this. Photo by Robin Schwartz.

#3
Watching people get ready for some sort of fun run. They're lined up in groups/waves and I watch them take off. Suddenly it's my turn, and the run has turned into an obstacle course/scavenger hunt thing. I have to find a softball hidden in a bookshelf, then climb up the bookshelf and along the top. Next thing I know I'm out on the street and I have to watch a clip of a Jodie Foster movie and write down two plot points before I can move onto the next task. 

Nobody likes a mullet

#1
Getting ready to watch a (drag?) show. The room has very few tables and just a bunch of exercise equipment like universal gyms and stuff. I try to find a table because Mel is meeting me for the show.

#1.5
Mel shows up and it's obvious that she's tried to emulate Katie's haircut (very short), but it's looking very mullet-like and she's quite unhappy. I call Angela and ask her if she can help Mel if the place she got it cut can't fix it.

Jai REALLY likes Ben Savage

#1
Jai is wearing a giant white fluffy bathrobe with his friends' names embroidered in gold down the lapels and a portrait of Ben Savage on the back. But when he takes off the robe, he has the same thing tattooed on his body.

Photo source: www.nndb.com

#2
Riding in a shitty old van with someone. We're headed to a junk yard for some reason. Up ahead I can see a burly tattooed guy with only one leg. He's using a shovel as a crutch and has fallen over. He's struggling to get back up as another one legged man approaches him. I tap the arm of the guy driving the van and point out the guy on the ground so he doesn't hit him.

#3
The junk yard turns into a boat dealership and Sarah A. from high school is working behind the counter. She's trying to get me to go to a bar (hotel?) for something and I get the impression it's a prank. I decline, saying I don't handle embarrassment well.

Guest Post: Cat-Sized Hippos on a Plane!

"So i flew on a giant plane last night that was piloted by George Clooney and patrolled by a security team of 7 year old girls in princess dresses and two cat-sized hippos. Oh, and there was a restaurant on the plane that was serving biscuits and gravy...and when i said it was a giant airplane, I'm not kidding. More like a giant flying ferry, room to walk around...different levels and sections (all based on your ticket price, of course)."

I love when people share their own weird dreams with me. This one came from a coworker.

You Can't Put Grapes in Crepes

#1
I wake up at the company retreat in time for breakfast. I suddenly realize I haven't bought enough fruit for the crepes that Mark's going to make. I start panicking because people are coming in for breakfast. I walk outside and quickly try to think of the nearest town where I can find fruit, but it would take me at least an hour to get there and back. I look over my shoulder and there just happens to be a produce stand on the lodge property. I walk inside and the next thing I know, I have two handfuls of blueberries and I'm trying to figure out where to take them. Mark's ahead of me, washing salad. Kirk's grabbing handfuls of grapes and I'm yelling at him that you can't put grapes inside of crepes.

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These are the things that wake me up at 4 a.m.

Truth

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